Ruth’s Reveries

As everyone is making resolutions, I am thinking about this coming year as well. I usually don’t do resolutions, because I’ve always been so discouraged at not following through. This year, however, will be an exception. I do have a few simple goals – mostly because I will be turning 30 by the end of the year, and I have plenty of things swimming in my mind that I would like to resolve before that milestone. So here goes:

 

Goals:

1. Working on my outsides: Ok, so this is a purely vain and cosmetic sort of goal. I desperately need to work out. I have some short-term reasons for this (this year I will stand next to several brides at their weddings and I would like to look decent). I also have some economic reasons for this as well (there are items in my closet I am unwilling to part with even though I can’t comfortably fit them anymore – yet I am unwilling to go shopping for new items, so I resolve to make myself fit these items comfortably once again, one day).

 

2. Working on my insides: This one is a doozie. I’m tackling some inner demons (many inherited from my upbringing and past). I’m still having the occasional disturbing dream, but definately not the soul-sucking nightmares from the past. I have recently discovered that the reason why I am so deathly afraid of moving forward in my future is because I haven’t really addressed my turbulent past. How can I confidently step forward when I don’t have peace with what’s behind me? And I am most certainly a product of my environment; in my efforts to know myself and those inner demons, I can’t avoid it but instead, need to address it head on. Sounds like a daunting task, I know, but I am already on my way, so it is do-able. I have been given tools, the path has already been laid out for me, my only task is only to trudge forward and actually walk in that direction. Letting go of myself, and clinging to God, all the way. Alot of ugly things will come out, but I will not be alone in dealing with them. I know God is with me, He believes in me more than I do myself, and I am most certainly not alone in this. Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1)

 

So there. That’s me. You?

 

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007 at 12:42 pm and is filed under Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.